"Oh my!"

BLAINE, GA — After much speculation, the elusive Higgs Bosom was revealed today, when a local teenager discovered her tanning in her yard, at approximately 10am this morning. “I had no idea that Ms. Higgs sunbathed topless,” the excited teen reported, “I was just walking by her house and there she was!”

Some are already calling this the most significant discovery since finding his mother’s Parental Controls password, but others doubt the veracity of his claim. “He’s lying,” a source close to the boy stated, “I go by there all the time and I’ve never seen anything.”

Further study of the phenomenon is expected, at least through the end of bathing-suit season.

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