LHC Wormhole

Wormhole which leads to a strange Mirror Universe.

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — Scientists at CERN revealed today that the Large Hadron Collider accidentally created a wormhole to a Mirror Universe.

“This was completely unexpected,” one of the scientists stated, “There was some speculation that the LHC might unravel the fabric of space-time and destroy the Universe, but most of us felt certain that the destruction would be more localised, most likely limited to our Solar System or possibly just the Earth itself. No one anticipated that it would open a portal to a bizarre parallel dimension… This has totally screwed up the office pool.”

“I suppose it’s still possible that the wormhole will collapse into a singularity,” he added, “but I’m not holding my breath. I’m pretty sure I’m just out €10.”

Scientists from the Mirror Universe, who are assisting our scientists in trying to shut down the LHC, are denying rumours that their Universe is some kind of ‘evil’ alternate reality to our own.

“It’s hardly fair to label our Universe as ‘evil’,” said one of the Mirror Universe scientists, during the joint press conference held this morning, “There are difference, of course. For example, in our Universe Betamax became the videotape standard, instead of VHS… Of course, that doesn’t really matter any more, since HD-DVD has made tapes obsolete anyway.”

Protesters outside of CERN have already added ‘Invasion from Mirror Universe’ to the long list of dangers they believe the LHC poses. “You have to keep a close watch on these scientist types,” warned one protester, “One minute they’re opening up gateways to other dimensions, and the next thing you know they’re doing something really dangerous like bouncing Wonderflonium.”

Both sets of scientists insist that the LHC is perfectly safe, or at least as safe as a 27 kilometre super-collider capable of punching a hole in reality can be.

“Everyone can rest assured that we’re all working together to shut down the LHC, as soon as possible,” the Mirror Universe scientist stated “even though the wormhole is absolutely stable and poses no danger whatsoever.”

“Besides,” he added, “I want to get back to my Universe in time to see Gigli 2 on opening night.”

CERN Press Conference

CERN Scientists and their Mirror Universe counterparts hold a joint press conference.

Sources

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10 Responses to “Large Hadron Collider opens wormhole to Mirror Universe”

  1. Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

  2. Mahesh says:

    Why do the scientist from the universe have beards and moustaches? i guess thats coz they use the opposite side of their razors to shave

  3. ayyosilver says:

    Those alternate universe scientists have the goatees on cause they’re supposed to be looking evil!

  4. […] while I’m here, this made me laugh out loud, and you can also check if the Large Hadron Collider has destroyed the Earth yet […]

  5. This is especially hilarious considering this awesome fiction anthology coming soon that’s about almost this exact scenario! It’s called World’s Collider.

    http://www.facebook.com/worldscollider

  6. Melanie says:

    I respect science, this particle accelerator that’s been invented should be used as a waste disposal unit – send all of the worlds garbage into the portal – clean up our planet, once and for all properly. As for the asteroid hurtling towards the earth, well I’m still waiting…
    Seek for worlds past our own, human beings need to develop past, poverty, greed, lust, death & war, contact with races in the universe, that are highly evolved, are the type of neighbours we need to learn from.
    So that mankind can clean up its act…

  7. chris says:

    Their goatees are drawn on their face and is mirrored image . Wtf ? This is dumber than sh-t . C’mon at least make it somewhat believable not obvious bullsh-t with stupid mirrored images like nobody will notice , man .

  8. chris says:

    Their facial hair is drawn with a pen it looks like to me and they’re an obvious pathetic mirrored image ! At least come up with something half way believable or that looks real for gods sake . This is just stupid . Dont use a pen or mirrored image next Time its worse than the national inquirer magazine filled with half alligator-boys and dumb crap .

  9. Sorry you don’t like it. It wasn’t meant to be real; it’s just a joke. It’s a joke article and the picture is part of it. The “mirror universe” scientists have goatees as a nod to the classic Star Trek episode “Mirror, Mirror”, where the other universe version of Spock had a a goatee.

    If you read the article, it should be pretty obvious that it’s not meant to be taken seriously. If it isn’t, then I apologise, because I meant for it to be clear that it was a joke.

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