RNC Records presents…

On 19 September, 2008, in Parodies, Song Parodies, by C. Scott Davis

RNC Records

Bridge to Nowhere
by the Talking Points

to the tune of “Road to Nowhere” by the Talking Heads

if you saw our convention, you may think we have no plan
but we’d just like to mention, that you should know where we stand
we don’t talk about issues, and we play on your fears
but if you’re patriotic, then you’ll give us four more years

yeah

terrorists, 9-11, maverick change
hockey mom, hanoi hilton, maverick change
family values, freedom, mav’rick change
god bless america, the surge, mav’rick change, mav’rick change

russia, iran, bin laden, maverick change
victory, flag, reformer, maverick change
liberal media elite, mav’rick change
sexism, prisoner of war, mav’rick change, mav’rick change

don’t want no bridge to nowhere
thanks but no thanks to congress
sold a jet plane on ebay

the economy is great, there’s no need to regulate
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
and those gas pains that you feel, the solution is to drill
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
we’ve got tax cuts for the poor, who earn $200k or more
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
see we know what’s best for you, ’cause god tells us what to do
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright

the economy is great, there’s no need to regulate
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
and those gas pains that you feel, the solution is to drill
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
we’ve got tax cuts for the poor, who earn $200k or more
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
see we know what’s best for you, ’cause god tells us what to do
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright

don’t want no bridge to nowhere
thanks but no thanks to congress
sold a jet plane on ebay
maverick, mav’rick, mav’rick

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When all else fails, redefine!

On 16 September, 2008, in Cartoons, Political Cartoons, by C. Scott Davis

Web Comic 20080916

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LHC Wormhole

Wormhole which leads to a strange Mirror Universe.

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — Scientists at CERN revealed today that the Large Hadron Collider accidentally created a wormhole to a Mirror Universe.

“This was completely unexpected,” one of the scientists stated, “There was some speculation that the LHC might unravel the fabric of space-time and destroy the Universe, but most of us felt certain that the destruction would be more localised, most likely limited to our Solar System or possibly just the Earth itself. No one anticipated that it would open a portal to a bizarre parallel dimension… This has totally screwed up the office pool.”

“I suppose it’s still possible that the wormhole will collapse into a singularity,” he added, “but I’m not holding my breath. I’m pretty sure I’m just out €10.”

Scientists from the Mirror Universe, who are assisting our scientists in trying to shut down the LHC, are denying rumours that their Universe is some kind of ‘evil’ alternate reality to our own.

“It’s hardly fair to label our Universe as ‘evil’,” said one of the Mirror Universe scientists, during the joint press conference held this morning, “There are difference, of course. For example, in our Universe Betamax became the videotape standard, instead of VHS… Of course, that doesn’t really matter any more, since HD-DVD has made tapes obsolete anyway.”

Protesters outside of CERN have already added ‘Invasion from Mirror Universe’ to the long list of dangers they believe the LHC poses. “You have to keep a close watch on these scientist types,” warned one protester, “One minute they’re opening up gateways to other dimensions, and the next thing you know they’re doing something really dangerous like bouncing Wonderflonium.”

Both sets of scientists insist that the LHC is perfectly safe, or at least as safe as a 27 kilometre super-collider capable of punching a hole in reality can be.

“Everyone can rest assured that we’re all working together to shut down the LHC, as soon as possible,” the Mirror Universe scientist stated “even though the wormhole is absolutely stable and poses no danger whatsoever.”

“Besides,” he added, “I want to get back to my Universe in time to see Gigli 2 on opening night.”

CERN Press Conference

CERN Scientists and their Mirror Universe counterparts hold a joint press conference.

Sources

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