"My journey is ended! This planet shall sustain me until it has been drained of all elemental life! So speaks Galactus!"
Mock-up of one of LeBron James' possible lunch selections.
Sources
- “LeBron James Announcement Slated For ESPN Special” • The Huffington Post • 6 July, 2010
- “Food Network Announces New Shows” • ALL TV News • 21 April, 2009
image created by Mark Davis
Mr. Hayward / Congressman Barton
to the tune of “Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey” by Paul & Linda McCartney
We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
We’re so sorry for this awful tragedy
We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
And I really am ashamed
Of how the White House treats BP
We’re so sorry that they’re shaking you down this way
We’re so Sorry Mr. Hayward
How can we live in a country that would do this kind of thing?
We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
That the President has asked BP to pay
We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
But with Democrats in charge we just can never get our way
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Congressman Barton wasn’t the first
To say it was a shakedown, ‘cos some have called it worse
But he’s the only one who took it far enough to apologise (apologise?)
(he’d better take it back or we’ll all be demonised)
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Put it all behind you then you’ll drill again (drill again)
That’s the way it’s always been
Soon or later, drill again
Put it all behind you then you’ll drill again (drill again)
That’s the way it’s always been
Soon or later, drill again
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
I’m Afraid of Obama
to the tune of “I’m Afraid of Americans” by David Bowie
Obama will kill Medicare
(Heard it on TV)
Illegal Immigrants
Will get everything for free
Listen to the talking points…
I’m afraid of the Democrats
I’m afraid of health care
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid of the–
I believe all the talking points
I believe all the lies
Now I’m frightened and angry
Now I’m frightened and–
I believe all the talking points
Now I’m scared of everything…
Obama has a plan
For killing off the elderly too
Obama wasn’t born here
He’s a Muslim Nazi (it’s true!)
Listen to the talking points…
I’m afraid he’s a Socialist
I’m afraid of his Race
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid he can–
I believe all the talking points
I believe all the lies
Now I’m frightened and angry
Now I’m frightened and–
I believe all the talking points (talking points…)
Limbaugh’s on the radio
Limbaugh tells me what to think
Get my news from Fox News
They tell me which Kool-Aid to drink
Listen to the talking points…
Now I’m scared of everything…
I’m afraid of the Liberals
I’m afraid of the Gays
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid of the–
I believe all the talking points
I believe all the lies
Now I’m frightened and angry
Now I’m frightened and–
I’m afraid Intellectuals
Wanna take all my guns
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid of the–
I believe all the talking points
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Bridge to Nowhere
by the Talking Points
to the tune of “Road to Nowhere” by the Talking Heads
if you saw our convention, you may think we have no plan
but we’d just like to mention, that you should know where we stand
we don’t talk about issues, and we play on your fears
but if you’re patriotic, then you’ll give us four more years
yeah
terrorists, 9-11, maverick change
hockey mom, hanoi hilton, maverick change
family values, freedom, mav’rick change
god bless america, the surge, mav’rick change, mav’rick change
russia, iran, bin laden, maverick change
victory, flag, reformer, maverick change
liberal media elite, mav’rick change
sexism, prisoner of war, mav’rick change, mav’rick change
don’t want no bridge to nowhere
thanks but no thanks to congress
sold a jet plane on ebay
the economy is great, there’s no need to regulate
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
and those gas pains that you feel, the solution is to drill
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
we’ve got tax cuts for the poor, who earn $200k or more
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
see we know what’s best for you, ’cause god tells us what to do
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
the economy is great, there’s no need to regulate
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
and those gas pains that you feel, the solution is to drill
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
we’ve got tax cuts for the poor, who earn $200k or more
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
see we know what’s best for you, ’cause god tells us what to do
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
don’t want no bridge to nowhere
thanks but no thanks to congress
sold a jet plane on ebay
maverick, mav’rick, mav’rick
Wormhole which leads to a strange Mirror Universe.
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND — Scientists at CERN revealed today that the Large Hadron Collider accidentally created a wormhole to a Mirror Universe.
“This was completely unexpected,” one of the scientists stated, “There was some speculation that the LHC might unravel the fabric of space-time and destroy the Universe, but most of us felt certain that the destruction would be more localised, most likely limited to our Solar System or possibly just the Earth itself. No one anticipated that it would open a portal to a bizarre parallel dimension… This has totally screwed up the office pool.”
“I suppose it’s still possible that the wormhole will collapse into a singularity,” he added, “but I’m not holding my breath. I’m pretty sure I’m just out €10.”
Scientists from the Mirror Universe, who are assisting our scientists in trying to shut down the LHC, are denying rumours that their Universe is some kind of ‘evil’ alternate reality to our own.
“It’s hardly fair to label our Universe as ‘evil’,” said one of the Mirror Universe scientists, during the joint press conference held this morning, “There are difference, of course. For example, in our Universe Betamax became the videotape standard, instead of VHS… Of course, that doesn’t really matter any more, since HD-DVD has made tapes obsolete anyway.”
Protesters outside of CERN have already added ‘Invasion from Mirror Universe’ to the long list of dangers they believe the LHC poses. “You have to keep a close watch on these scientist types,” warned one protester, “One minute they’re opening up gateways to other dimensions, and the next thing you know they’re doing something really dangerous like bouncing Wonderflonium.”
Both sets of scientists insist that the LHC is perfectly safe, or at least as safe as a 27 kilometre super-collider capable of punching a hole in reality can be.
“Everyone can rest assured that we’re all working together to shut down the LHC, as soon as possible,” the Mirror Universe scientist stated “even though the wormhole is absolutely stable and poses no danger whatsoever.”
“Besides,” he added, “I want to get back to my Universe in time to see Gigli 2 on opening night.”
CERN Scientists and their Mirror Universe counterparts hold a joint press conference.
Sources
- “Scientists insist Large Hadron Collider probably won’t destroy the Universe“. TimesOnline, 6 September, 2008
- “Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the Earth yet?“. hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com, 12 September, 2008
- “LHC Compact Muon Solenoid Experiment Webcams“. Cyriak, 15 September, 2008
There was a recent post on a Doctor Who site about the idea that Russell T. Davies is pursuing some kind of “secret gay agenda”, simply because he doesn’t make every character automatically straight by default1. The subject seems to show up every time we see a non-straight character (this time because a character in last week’s episode casually referred to her ex as “she”), and the discussions tend to run the full range from interesting and well-thought-out (on both sides of the issue) to mindlessly homophobic.
I have my own serious thoughts on the subject… but instead I give you this, from when the issue came up last series:
1 Hey, I never claimed to be unbiased on the subject.
Recent Comments