Pirkles & Pogos

Mr. Hayward / Congressman Barton

to the tune of “Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey” by Paul & Linda McCartney

We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
We’re so sorry for this awful tragedy
We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
And I really am ashamed
Of how the White House treats BP
We’re so sorry that they’re shaking you down this way
We’re so Sorry Mr. Hayward
How can we live in a country that would do this kind of thing?

We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
That the President has asked BP to pay
We’re so sorry Mr. Hayward
But with Democrats in charge we just can never get our way

Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Congressman Barton wasn’t the first
To say it was a shakedown, ‘cos some have called it worse
But he’s the only one who took it far enough to apologise (apologise?)
(he’d better take it back or we’ll all be demonised)

Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand

Put it all behind you then you’ll drill again (drill again)
That’s the way it’s always been
Soon or later, drill again
Put it all behind you then you’ll drill again (drill again)
That’s the way it’s always been
Soon or later, drill again

Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand
Oil is in the water (water)
Oil is in the sand

I’m Afraid of Obama

to the tune of “I’m Afraid of Americans” by David Bowie

Obama will kill Medicare
(Heard it on TV)
Illegal Immigrants
Will get everything for free

Listen to the talking points…

I’m afraid of the Democrats
I’m afraid of health care
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid of the–

I believe all the talking points
I believe all the lies
Now I’m frightened and angry
Now I’m frightened and–
I believe all the talking points

Now I’m scared of everything…

Obama has a plan
For killing off the elderly too
Obama wasn’t born here
He’s a Muslim Nazi (it’s true!)

Listen to the talking points…

I’m afraid he’s a Socialist
I’m afraid of his Race
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid he can–

I believe all the talking points
I believe all the lies
Now I’m frightened and angry
Now I’m frightened and–
I believe all the talking points (talking points…)

Limbaugh’s on the radio
Limbaugh tells me what to think
Get my news from Fox News
They tell me which Kool-Aid to drink

Listen to the talking points…
Now I’m scared of everything…

I’m afraid of the Liberals
I’m afraid of the Gays
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid of the–

I believe all the talking points
I believe all the lies
Now I’m frightened and angry
Now I’m frightened and–

I’m afraid Intellectuals
Wanna take all my guns
I’m afraid of Obama
I’m afraid of the–
I believe all the talking points

Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…
Now I’m scared of everything…

Bridge to Nowhere
by the Talking Points

to the tune of “Road to Nowhere” by the Talking Heads

if you saw our convention, you may think we have no plan
but we’d just like to mention, that you should know where we stand
we don’t talk about issues, and we play on your fears
but if you’re patriotic, then you’ll give us four more years

yeah

terrorists, 9-11, maverick change
hockey mom, hanoi hilton, maverick change
family values, freedom, mav’rick change
god bless america, the surge, mav’rick change, mav’rick change

russia, iran, bin laden, maverick change
victory, flag, reformer, maverick change
liberal media elite, mav’rick change
sexism, prisoner of war, mav’rick change, mav’rick change

don’t want no bridge to nowhere
thanks but no thanks to congress
sold a jet plane on ebay

the economy is great, there’s no need to regulate
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
and those gas pains that you feel, the solution is to drill
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
we’ve got tax cuts for the poor, who earn $200k or more
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
see we know what’s best for you, ’cause god tells us what to do
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright

the economy is great, there’s no need to regulate
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright
and those gas pains that you feel, the solution is to drill
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
we’ve got tax cuts for the poor, who earn $200k or more
and it’s alright, baby it’s alright
see we know what’s best for you, ’cause god tells us what to do
yeah it’s alright, baby it’s alright

don’t want no bridge to nowhere
thanks but no thanks to congress
sold a jet plane on ebay
maverick, mav’rick, mav’rick